Getting this one out of the way

No one ever talks about mental illness. And when they do, it isn't very favorable talk. In fact, the addition of the word "mental" to the front of the phrase is likely the reason why. It's all in his/her head. Of course it is. If it wasn't, then it would just be illness, right? Like diabetes. Or cancer.

"Let's not talk to Susie, she has diabetes. Maybe if she was just more positive about things, her pancreas would function like a normal pancreas," said no one ever.

Because, you know, if you just put on a positive attitude, mental illness will go away. Right?

Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but if you hold that belief, you are wrong. And I know from personal experience. Truthfully, this blog is a little heavy for a second post ever. But if you are going to read about my life, I want to be honest. And honestly, if you're going to judge me for my mental illness, then I don't really want you to read into my life. Or maybe reading about it will do you some good.

Hello, my name is Stella, and I'm bipolar. And if you have known me all my life, you may not know it. I told my friend Gypsy on Friday, and her response was, "But you can't be bipolar, you're not..." Cue embarrassed look on Gypsy's face. "Crazy" was the word she was looking for, I'm pretty sure. Because if you have a mental illness, you're crazy. (Someone should tell that to the 57.7 million people in the United States who have been diagnosed with a mental illness. Thanks, NIMH for that little stat.)

Earlier Friday, I was talking with some coworkers. One girl was reading The Silver Linings Play Book.

If you've seen the movie, I recommend you read the book. It's a good read and a little more personal than the movie. In the book, you are reading his thoughts and fears and dreams. And if you have no experience with mental illness (lucky you), you may feel lost, and overwhelmed, and think it's incredulous. I read the book a year after being diagnosed as bipolar, and, for the first time since my diagnosis, I finally thought someone understood me.

Coworker: I'm trying to read this book, but it's just too exaggerating. Everything is to the extreme.
           Me: Real? I think the word you are looking for is real.
Coworker: No. Seriously. Anyone who thinks like him is just crazy.

She said it, the dreaded "c" word. The word that we slap on people who have a mental illness, as a warning sign, but from what? Because I know someone who has migraines (Hi, E!), and I don't think, "Gee. I should really never associate with E, she has migraines, and I just don't want to be associated with that." But I have heard people say that about people like me. I can think myself out of bipolar disorder no more than an amputee can this his/her way back to having a functional limb.

Bipolar disorder is a "brain disorder"- as in, something is actually wrong with the way my brain functions. Like a diabetic has a malfunctioning pancreas, like a person with inflammatory bowel disease has a malfunctioning digestive tract. Like the two ailments I just listed, there's medicine to aid in managing bipolar disorder. However, no one tells a diabetic that they probably don't actually NEED the insulin. There's no stigma with taking an immunosuppressant for IBD. You know what there is a stigma for? Taking medicine to help with mental illness, which in turn makes things even worse-- just like if you tried to think your way out of diabetes without the medication.

So, if you know someone with a mental illness. Love them. Because being physically sick when the world tells you it's all in your head really, really sucks. And don't ask them why they have to take medicine or when they will "get better." Just LOVE them. Like you would love anyone else.

For a some great blogs about depression, look here and here.

Now, my future hubby, let's call him Sel, has been waiting patiently to dig into the his left-over birthday cake for breakfast. And I'm going to join him (you CAN judge me for that, if you want). So happy Sunday! I'll try not to be so heavy next time.